On the third day of retreat, I decided not to go cross-country skiing again and opted for the horsemanship clinic. Here's a picture of Flicka, the owner's wife's horse. Ain't she a beauty?
Vista Verde's head wrangler, Joanna, or Jo, is an awesome gal from Indiana. She was super helpful and very down to earth. I really appreciate that in an instructor.
BJ and me! He was an awesome horse! I learned how to convince him to back up, turn left or right, trot, and lope. We even had to go through a course with traffic cones to test our maneuverability, and we got through! One thing I have to work on, is not "driving" the horse when we're turning, and learning to shift my weight in the opposite direction of where I want the horse to go. Since they are trained to move away from pressure, I also have to nudge my heel that is opposite to the direction I want to go. It's very... opposite, and will take some getting used to.
On our last evening, we sat down to a formal dinner. It basically means, we order from a menu, and the waitresses serve us the courses instead of going through a buffet. Ever since I've become a waitress, I've been more aware of the differences in how other restaurants arrange their place settings and serve their courses. It bothers me, now, to see a waitress serve from the left, using her right hand. A guest should never see the back of your hand when you are serving. I probably make that mistake every now and then, but it's something I try really hard to avoid doing nowadays. Anyway, enough of my ranting... :)
For the last evening, we have a surprise show held by Dace (manager), Terry (horsemanship instructor), Reid (... I don't know what his position is), and Ben (manager). They're all former Lost Valley Staff, and they've tried to make Vista Verde more like Lost Valley, even though they're very different ranches. One of the ways they've tried to make Vista Verde more homey, is by providing entertainment in the form of song.
It was a great experience to be a guest and seeing things from the other side. Sometimes, when you're providing the entertainment and singing cheesy songs, you wonder if the guests even want to listen. But having these guys play for us was so entertaining, as they joked around and strummed their instruments so enthusiastically... I really appreciated it. It reminded me of the medieval bards that used to wander from village to village, telling stories of heroes and heroines, singing of honor, glory, and brave adventures, and how it might have felt to be a villager and have one's worries and burdens fade to the background, for a while, in the enjoyment of the story.
We all had communion afterwards, but in a way I've never done it before. We all sat in a huge oval around a low table which sat in front of the fireplace. Our speaker, Matt, had talked to us about forgiveness, and how the most judgmental people have never experienced forgiveness or grace. Also, the more you engage with your desperation, the more forgiveness you feel and the more you can forgive. On a piece of paper, each one of us wrote down what sins and struggles we've been facing lately. And he broke several loaves of bread, poured grape juice into several cups, and invited us to take a bit of each, and serve it to someone else, saying, "I'll trade you. Taste Grace." Then, taking their paper, we cast it into the fire for them. What an experience! To serve another, and have another serve you... to watch your paper burn and watch the smoke and flames rise to heaven... I had come to Colorado to grieve, even do penance for troubles in the past, but I remembered that I am forgiven, that God is the great Redeemer and Healer, and there is no need for me to physically do anything to atone for the past. It is like a wave of cleansing water, washing the irritating dirt from my eyes, and I can see clearly again. Oh, how easily my vision is clouded!
It is one year ago, today, March 14th, that I shared my testimony at Epic, my church in Fullerton, California. Have I forgotten, already, the grace I felt so sure of back then? How has my life changed? In a new place, where no one knows my story, am I living a life full of grace?
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